Back On Track

Motivation is what gets you started, habit is what keeps you going.

Indeed, and as of the moment, I feel that surge of motivation. I should start working really hard for all or most of the things that I intend to accomplish. There's so much that I want to do that it's giving me the chills.

And while some people decide to change because they are bitter, jealous or angry at something or someone, I will become a better person because that's what I want and that's what's gonna make me happy. It's for the better. It is never too late to start something new or continue what you had taken for granted.

You Can If You Will :)

I thought I'm not in good shape to work today. Actually, I should be working at this time. But I just couldn't stop myself from starting up something I know I should've done a long time ago--writing stories from ideas that randomly comes up my mind. I have a lot of them, then and now. Sometimes I note them down, most of the time I rely on my sloppy memory hoping I could harvest or re-trace those ideas should the right moment comes. Now I realized I should 'act' as soon as I'm struck or overflowing with creative juices.

For now, I'll make some drafts of those stories which I'm hoping I could finish well. I don't aim for novels or whatnots; just stories good enough for sharing. Wish me luck! *fingers crossed* :D

Be Thankful It Happened

"When someone treats you like you’re just one of many options, help them narrow their choice by removing yourself from the equation.  Sometimes you have to try not to care, no matter how much you do.  Because sometimes you can mean almost nothing to someone who means so much to you.  It’s not pride – it’s self-respect."

Sad but true, right? Reality bites and truth hurts. But you always have the choice to either let go and move on or keep holding on and suffer from neglect. You can't avoid meeting people who would eventually leave or hurt you. What you can always take control of is how you respond to the circumstances.

I really hope I can walk the talk, especially now that I'm feeling so down. Even so, other people have it worse. I should be grateful for whatever I have and whatever I am or will become. *cheers*

Sometimes...

But, this too shall pass... :D

Be Better, Not Bitter :)

Indeed, you're the only one who's going to suffer if you keep on sulking over trivial matters. So instead of allowing bitterness and loneliness take over your life, why don't you embrace the fact that nothing's ever going to change unless you do something to become a better person? This has been my preach to myself...

Now that it's a new year, we are all given a new chance to either start a new life or improve what we already have. I am quite certain that there are lots in store for each of us this new year. All we have to do is harness that latent drive to do better.

I have been feeling so down before 2012 ended. But this new year, I have firmly decided to make a difference. I know I can't do this on my own. I need God's grace, mercy and love. Nevertheless, I'm sure He will always provide.

Several painful events have made my heart more protective and cynical. Sure enough, I haven't moved on yet from some of those things which I never saw coming. But maybe I've become weaker or more comfortable with the fact that I have a lot of people who are so good to me. I have forgotten that people change, and that they will come and go. Even so, I will not lose faith in my being a people-person. Just lessen ties, maybe.

Now there are so many reasons for me to smile and be happy... so why would I continue to entertain negative vibes? This new year, I will surely be better. I hope the same goes for you all, especially for those who feel taken for granted. Be the change that you want to see in humanity.

The Start of Something New? :)

Hear ye, hear ye!!! Grab the opportunity to start a clean slate while it lasts...

2012 has been quite a wonderful year for me and my family. Though we've been through a lot of ups and downs, (well, I think it's quite natural... so, not bad...) I could say that we all managed to survive another spectacular year. I'm really praying that 2012 will be better--more productive and fulfilling.

And since I'm trying to catch my breath and race with my heartbeat due to excitement while writing this post so, at least, I could do some sort of a year-end special, I'll try to make it short by sharing these photos of places I've been to this year; places which remind me how magnificent life is, especially when you always make an effort to travel, explore and learn new things with remarkable people in your life...

Happy New Year, everyone. May we all have a more blessed one. *cheers*

Happy Birthday, Jesus! Hello, Santa Claus! :D

“Never underestimate your power to change yourself; never overestimate your power to change others.”

  

May you all have a fulfilling Christmas, and a more blessed New Year :)

Still Looking For That Someone? :)

Damn, right... *cheers*

See The World ^_^

Ever since I started working at home, I felt that I have been missing a lot; particularly when it comes to those places I usually see on my way back home or on my way to the office. I miss the busy streets, the busy people roaming the malls, the jeepneys and all sorts of random sights that an everyday life in a small city could offer. Although I wasn't that active in exploring the city before, I could feel some drive within me that's wanting to explore different places within the City. I know there are still lots of corners and streets that I haven't visited even once although our City is a bit small and easy to navigate. And even though a part of me is telling me that what I wanted to do could be a bit risky, well, I'd rather explore than die from a monotonous living. After all, I'm a sucker for adventure.

My love for traveling, I figured, should not be given any limits. I should go out and see the world! Of course, I ought to start from where I live. The city may be small, but I know there are lots in store; waiting to be discovered. What I had been planning to do, is go out every single day... do some short to long walks... starting from our vicinity to as far as I could go. Of course, I'd take a camera with me to take shots of random people, sights or anything that could capture my interest. It doesn't have to be grand or something very spectacular. Otherwise, I'd feel pressure to find something remarkable. I'll just have to enjoy my walks, and the scenes that would unfold before me. Still, I'm hoping that many fun and memorable things would come my way.

Hey, isn't that another way to exercise? lol Yeah, that could be another advantage to this endeavor. Hopefully, I won't get lazy. But I only feel lazy when it's raining or the weather isn't that assuring. I'm still thinking about the time for when I should go out; either during my lunch break or after my working hours. well, maybe depends on the mood; what matters is that I shouldn't miss a day without making any discovery. This was also triggered by some great photos I've seen a few days ago. I was inspired by those people who were able to capture real-life, random events. But hey, they looked extraordinary when presented well. I wish I have a high-quality camera. Though I don't really want to go around holding those inconvenient-looking DSLRs; they may be able to capture really good images. But I don't want to attract so much attention.

Well, that's all for now. I have lots of plans and goals for this year. Hopefully, I can get them done; even just half of it. Hopefully, this would serve as a good start for me :D

Looking Back O_O

As I've mentioned a couple of times here, the year 2011 has been very rough and tough for me. But then I realized that the obstacles and sufferings I've faced were nothing compared to others. As you may already know, the Philippines has gone through a lot of tragedies this year due to natural calamities and other forces of nature. And I am quite sure that more people suffered a more cruel fate. Thus, I should refrain from feeling sorry for myself; especially after I somehow counted all the blessings, privileges and great opportunities bestowed upon me.

2011 has been a year for travels and trips. It's the year where I had gone to various places, far and near. Those trips served as bonding moments with whomever I was with. It was also a way for me to forget all the bad happenings. And though some unnecessary and unwanted events tried to ruin some of my trips, I was still able to enjoy every moment like it was my last. I just hope that more trips will come my way this year.

Going to Cebu-Bohol with (Teampourra) my largest circle of friends was perhaps the most adventurous and very memorable trip. We visited a lot of places, and experienced caving like no other. It was really fun; although I had been a killjoy for quite some time. lol I always have a hard time "eliminating" whenever I'm traveling. Maybe that's one of the reasons why I had mood swings. lol

We also went to witnessed our friend's wedding that was held, of course, in the province or hometown of his wife. The wedding was fun and cool, although it was rainy. And the memories were added when we visited the Sampaguita Garden where we all felt young and "childish." 

The place was amazing; full of detailed and mesmerizing dolls. I wished we could have stayed overnight. I bet the place is more beautiful with some colorful lights on during the night. But the experience was more than enough to satisfy our crave for new places.

My last trip before the year ended was our 6-pax trip to Agho Island, Concepcion. It was a magnificent island with white sands, massive rocks and lots of corals. That was the best trip with fewer people; and one that I did not organize. It really felt good to just relax and enjoy the moment. We had good laughs, good food, good accommodation and a great scenery. I could stay in that place for a week without getting bored!

And before I forget, last year has also been the year for Food Trips. We were kind of prone to "mass starvation" and guilty pleasures of monstrous tummy. Unfortunately, I'm not a voracious eater like my other girlfriends even though I "seem" to be the one with big appetite. lol Office food trips were actually the ones that sort of blew me off. It's like, we were always hungry as we were always eating! Ice cream and Pizza became a natural sight in our pantry. And as much as I want to go on a diet, I just can't say No; especially if you're being blackmailed. lol

The opportunity to finally consider working at home has also presented itself. Some bad things made me decide to pass my resignation. Actually, I have been planning to resign from that company; I just wanted to have a reasonable reason for doing so. But when I was given the chance to work together with my friend, I stayed. So when the exit door caught my attention, I did not waste any moment and started to pave my way through being a home-based agent. So far, so good. :)

On Being "Nakama" ^ ^

I just love the anime One Piece. It's my favorite next to Rurouni Kenshin (Samurai X), Naruto, Fairy Tale, and History's Strongest Disciple - Kenichi. Not only because of the comedy factor (although I can't really explain the reason why I love it so much lol) but also because it values friendship so much; which for me is a really important thing. I have this strong connection with the said anime series, especially to the main character--Luffy. I can remember how my co-worker described the feeling that this anime brought to him "It's like love at first sight." lol

I encountered a lot of issues this year, particularly when it comes to relationships, or Friendship to be precised. Since 2011 is a year of the rabbit, they said this year's going to be peaceful seeing as how peace-loving rabbits are. But I guess peace has not been applicable to Tiger-borns like me. Maybe the rabbits took this opportunity as a way to serve revenge to their predators. They gave me hell. I've gone through a lot of heartaches. But hey, I'm still alive and kicking! lol It's as if I'd back down because of those trials :P

I learned a lot of lessons this year; and yeah, I learned them the hard way. I had cried several times, and felt pathetic mainly because I was too friendly or something. Yeah, that sucks. And I now realized that some people are just not worthy of your trust and affection. I should have listened to some real friends when they told me not to give chances easily (to random people). but hey, this is me. It won't make me feel any better to drive away or ignore people who seemed nice and all. Anyway, I may have been hurt; but it's not my lost. Karma is a bitch. So, good luck to those who know nothing but to mess with people's feelings.

The bottomline is that I now know how to refrain and control myself from being attached (so emotionally-attached) to those people who come into my life (old and new). I won't put up an unbreakable wall nor would be too meticulous in choosing whom to hang out with. Instead, I will accept them for what they are, give them chances but won't take things seriously. I;ll enjoy every moment, but won't be anticipating for more. Got to learn to be contented with the kinds of friends I already have--as they are more than enough, way better than any new acquaintances.

Holiday Rants & Ramblings

Well, Christmas is already in the air. And the Holiday Rush is just so stressful. It's a good thing I'm working at home now; spares me from the traffic and the sight of busy people all over the place. Although I'm excited for this Yuletide Season, I just can't help but feel so sorry about those people who lost their families and properties because of the flood.

This would be the first time, after many years, that my siblings and I are going to celebrate Christmas together. But still, my family's not complete. Dad won't be around. Too bad you can't have the best of both worlds. But I sure understand that things happen for a reason. Especially all the bad things that happened this year. I bet they made me stronger and wiser.

I've engaged myself in a lot of foolishness this year; so I guess I don't have the right to ask Santa for some special gifts. But all I really want is to end this year right and well. It's really too bad if you plan a lot of things for the future. Fate really has its way of testing your limits. Nevertheless, I'm still up for some challenges. I'll keep on moving on whatever comes my way. And though some people would still try to bring me down, I'll make sure they learn the essence of "piss off!"

And The Curtain Falls

Well, this is actually a continuation of the "To Win or Lose" post.

I can't actually remember all the challenges I've accepted, accomplished and failed. So I'm just going to end my dare-related posts with this...

"You Lose!"

The first dare that I got and started was also the one that I ridiculously messed up. I thought it was the simplest; but it seems I just underestimated the dare, and my friend who gave it. I have forgotten how sinister he is, of how good... of a jinx... he is... always... to me.

The dare was to text "someone" with cheesy, love-related quotes for 3 consecutive days. Sounds easy, right? But yeah, I failed. And I will never forgot how that "friend" of mine rejoiced. Of course, he had so much fun pestering me about my failure. I failed because on the 2nd day, I ran out of cellphone load just when I was about to send the message. And since it was already late at night, I wasn't able to do anything.

Well, it was actually because I wasn't that motivated to complete the dare. It's not that I wanted to lose either. But maybe because of the lack of thrill and motivation that I didn't do my best to accomplish it. Hey, I'm not trying to make excuses; I'm just explaining myself of why I stupidly let myself lose on that very simple dare. I expected so much from that witch!!! And yet he gave me something that did not even tickle my senses! x_x  

Another dare that gave me that "I-so-hate-people-who-know-nothing-but-to-bring-you-down" feeling was the "dress-up" dare. It was meant for 3 days, but I sort of screwed on the 2nd. Well, partly because some annoying people stood in my way. But yeah, all is well even some things didn't end well. I'm just happy that even for a day, my co-workers were able to see me in a different light. lol They were so persistent about it; you know, to see me wearing a dress while on high heels.

On the 2nd day, my accomplices and I were reprimanded for being loiterers. lol. It was because of the makeup and hairdo session. Since I don't know how to put a makeup on or curl my hair all on my own, I asked two of my office friends to help me out. Obviously, I got them in trouble. But it's okay; we were somehow able to make some memories out of it. ;)

Of course, I don't want to end this "documentary" with just negative stuff. Two of my other dares, which I successfully completed, became somewhat "controversial" and very fulfilling.

The very funny and controversial one was the "update your relationship status on facebook." I had to ask a friend (that many people like to pair me with) to connive with me in changing my relationship status. Of course, that friend has to pretend that he was in relationship with me. lol. Fortunately, only on facebook, and just for a week. But we don't have to explain things or really act out us couple. It was really a good thing that I was allowed to ask that person's permission and cooperation. If I had to do it without his knowledge, I'd die of humiliation! lol That dare made me realize that most of the people I know wanted me so much to have a boyfriend that they were so happy upon 'knowing' that, finally, I'm in a relationship. Well, enough of the details; getting tired already lol

One of the most fulfilling dare, and one that I'm so proud I accomplished, was a test of my self-control (and yeah, resistance to my addiction lol). Indeed, I had to say no to manga and anime for almost a month or so; a month and some days before my birthday!!! Imagine the torture! lol But yeah, I succeeded on that dare. It was one of those dares that strengthened my patience, persistence and self-discipline. Thanks to "lalake" for that awesome challenge.

At last! I'm done documenting!!! lol Now, I can go back to posting other crazy stuff. :P

The Pros & Cons of Working At Home

At last! Another week has ended. And it's been two weeks or so since I started to work at home. It's both fun and pressure. Yes, pressure because I still hasn't learned to "fully" discipline myself. I could still find myself catching up with time. But nevertheless, all is well. It's kind of better compared to the kind of stress that working in a "care-less" company could give. I feel more in-control of myself. It's not like I don't fancy working with a group. In fact, I'm a teamplayer. It's just that, things got out of hand with my previous employer. Even so, I will always cherish the moments I spent on that company. There's no point bearing grudges on anybody. 

I have a lot of plans, even before I started. I thought of implementing a consistent exercise routine because that was one of the many important things that I thought I had no time to deal with. But of course, the truth is that I was only pretty lazy to do so. Now that I have more time and freedom to do so, I thought it should be one of my priorities. Right now, it's kind of difficult to immediately put my plans into action. But I know that I will eventually be able to achieve my goals and long-term plans. *hopefully :)

Working at home has a lot of pros and cons. If you're rather disciplined and determined to stick to your schedule, then you can certainly do a lot of more productive things. But if you're the type who always thinks that he could beat the challenge of time and the mood swings of fate, then you're likely find yourself stressed out for being lax and irresponsible. And I don't want to become one of those who didn't "make it big" in the field of home-based working. So I better straighten myself out and be up to becoming a better person. nyay!

pros:

- I can wake up late, provided the boss is okay with extending work schedule

- I can do push-ups, squats and other hilarious exercise/stretching routines when I'm bored or sleepy during working hours

- I can watch tv or listen to loud music of my choice

- I can take a nap? (but of course! as long as there's no deadline or the boss is out. lol)

- I can roam around the house and do whatever I want to (doesn't make sense at all. haha)

- I can do some household chores?

- many other things, I'm the boss and the keeper of my own time

- less travel expenses and other expenditures

- I don't have to comb my hair or dress decently (hahaha)

- I don't need to interact with immature and stupid people

- I get to challenge myself to become more disciplined, passionate and responsible

cons:

- I'm doomed if I'm lazy

- I don't get to ride public transpo more often

- I only have little exercise if I don't make it a point that I do strict, regular exercise routines

- I'll get fatter if I don't control myself

- Perhaps I'll suffer from separation anxiety since I'm a people-person?

- I don't get to witness other wonders of life or experience the real-world?

- I get easily distracted, more temptations I guess

- many other things I'm too-lazy and too tired to discuss any longer

Well, that's all for now. I have finally decided to blog once a week now that I have 'enough' time and freedom. See you again next week! nyahahaha

On Fighting Indecision

I used to be indecisive; now I'm not sure.

Indecisiveness is one of my weaknesses that I really hope to overcome. I always have a difficulty making up my mind, particularly when it comes to making choices or when choosing from a number of options. Maybe it's because I tend to be impulsive at times. And in order for me to minimize the impulsiveness, I see to it that I don't immediately make decisions, especially when it comes to money matters and other serious issues. But most of the time, I see myself trapped between the given options that I worry about the consequences.

There is no more miserable human being than one in whom nothing is habitual but indecision

I have learned to overcome an indecision issue that troubled me these past few days. And it feels so great to know that you have conquered something that's not actually a big deal as long as you clear your mind and focus on dealing with the dilemma. It's really wise to take things slowly, one step at a time. There's no point worrying about everything when you could not even do something about a few, small problems.

I realized that indecision often takes place if you don't actually know what you want -- if you don't know what you want to happen, what you want to achieve, where you want to go, or who you want to be with. If you don't know where to start or how to get things started, then chances are, you are not going to get anywhere and be able to do whatever that needs to be done. It's also a matter of priorities. 

You need to define your goals and objectives. You have to assess your capacity; figure out your limits, but be open to all the possibilities so that you can get over your boundaries. You need to determine and set your priorities. From there, you can effectively decide what you need to accomplish first. You can then make a more appropriate and rewarding decision.

It is human nature to stand in the middle of a thing.

On Failures and Success... x_x

One of the things I thought could help me make memories, and somehow help me change my ways or something like it, was to ask my friends to give me a dare or a challenge. Dares that could either improve my skills or help me learn new ones. Challenges that would test my courage and extend whatever I have. And those (25) dares are to be done on or before my birthday.

Well, some of my friends gave me difficult ones which I really liked, and some settled for things that I don't usually do. One of my best friends even warned me - "be careful with what you wish for..." :D

There are those who asked me to dress up so they can see me in a different light. hahaha. And those that merely wanted to see me in my most gruesome state. My seatmate/teammate/close buddy Cecille challenged me to consume "strawberry-inspired" goodies. Yes, I hate strawberries. My belly and taste buds are not compatible with strawberries. Fortunately, my friend was kind enough not to make me eat all the things that I hate. Lucky for me, I finished the dare without making any unpleasant scene. haha

Just let me enumerate all the dares I was able to do so far. Unfortunately, I didn't succeed on most of them. Several negative forces made their way to ensure my failure. But the thing is, I learned my lessons well. So it doesn't really matter if I failed. Uhm, on the second thought, I'd be much happier if I was able to finish them all with flying colors. oh well, whatever :P

Oh, see you on the next post. hahaha (my head is aching so bad I have to stop. ugh, If only my hand could do the talking without causing further pain to my head... lol)

Failure doesn't mean you are a failure... it just means you haven't succeeded yet.

"Quote My Heart" ^ ^

“Three things tell a man: his eyes, his friends and his favorite quotes.”

Quotes - I have loads of them. I really love quotes and sayings, particularly those made by wise yet humble people. Whenever I can come across several lines as I surf the net, I see to it that I can save them for future reference. And I often share most of them to my friends...

Quotes can always serve me well. They inspire me. Quotes awaken my soul. They serve as a guide - in life, love and everything under the sun. When I'm down or feeling miserable, not motivated, lost and broken, quotes are one of my effective and lifetime medicines. They can actually cure a broken heart and soul. Of course, quotes are eye-openers; they present various truth that we tend to escape from.

But for now, let me share to you some quotes on love. I actually find them cheesy yet very powerful source of inspiration - motivating me to love, and to love more... unconditionally. If only love is as uncomplicated and fun as it seems. And, if only all people know how to love the right way at the right time... But I guess all is fair in love and war. ;)

“If I love you, what business is it of yours?” - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” - Jalal ad-Din Rumi

Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth. - Benjamin Disraeli

“Love takes up where knowledge leaves off.” - St. Thomas Aquinas

“Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.” - Bruce Lee

“Love is like a Rubix Cube, there are countless numbers of wrong twists and turns, but when you get it right, it looks perfect no matter what way you look at it.” - Brian Cramer

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”  - Swedish Proverb

“You can't stop loving or wanting to love because when its right, it's the best thing in the world. When you're in a relationship and it's good, even if nothing else in your life is right, you feel like your whole world is complete.” - Keith Sweat

“You know it's love when all you want is that person to be happy, even if you're not part of their happiness.” - Julia Roberts

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” - Neil Gaiman

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you.” - Winnie the Pooh

“Do not seek the because - in love there is no because, no reason, no explanation, no solutions.” - Anais Nin

“A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one.” - Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings

“I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies.” - Pietro Aretino

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” - Maya Angelou

“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.” - Albert Einstein

“In revenge and in love, woman is more barbarous than man.” - Friedrich Nietzsche

“It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them.” - Agatha Christie

“You can't blame gravity for falling in love.” - Albert Einstein

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” - Mother Teresa of Calcutta

“Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.” - Oscar Wilde

“I would rather have eyes that cannot see; ears that cannot hear; lips that cannot speak, than a heart that cannot love.” - Robert Tizon

“The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned.” - William Somerset Maugham

“Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get - only with what you are expecting to give - which is everything.” - Katharine Hepburn

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.” - C.S. Lewis

“When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.” - Mark Twain

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” - Lao Tzu

If I Were To Time Travel...

Do you ever wonder - “What if I could turn back time?” or “What if I could go back to the past?” What would you do? Where shall you go or on what particular time/event of the past? Would you want to change something? Are you even interested in witnessing the events of the past? Me? Of course! As long as I “can’t” distort history, I’d really want to witness many historical incidents. I will no longer wish to go back in time so I can undo this or that. I know it’s just not fair or something – what’s there to learn if people don’t make mistakes?

All I want to do, if I were given the chance to time travel, is to observe firsthand the occurrences of the past which I’ve never been a part of…

This post is actually a continuation of (or in connection to) my previous post – Into the Time Stream.

So where do I want to go if blasted to the past?

As much as possible, I’d really want to go back to the time when…

·         The World is about to be Created
·         Moses Divided The Red Sea
·         The Ten Commandments Were Made and Presented
·         The Birth/Death of Christ
·         Dinosaurs, and Dragons are still around
·         Nature is at its best
·         Great Pyramids and the Great Wall of China are being Built
·         Troy Fell
·         Greek Mythology is quite… real
·         Cleopatra is still alive... and pretty? Hmmm
·         There’s a big fight/duel in the The Colosseum or Roman Coliseum
·         Construction of Stonehenge in Britain begins
·         The Greeks and Persians are at War
·         Japan/America Colonized Philippines

And so many more... Yep, some events may seem a tragedy or traumatic enough for those who have witnessed it... But because I wasn’t able to experience it myself, I want to find out what it feels like… I am prepared... as long as I’m an invisible spectator... ahahaha :D

RIP, Nami :(

This is such a bad day - a really bad one. I feel so guilty.. and grief is trying to take the best of me... cant help but let the tears flow. If only my tears could wash away the sadness, and the feeling of guilt... I still cant get over it. It'll take some time, I know. But the pain right now is killing me. It hurts like hell. I can barely contain it. :(

My another favorite cat has died. Yes, this may sound ridiculous to other people; however, our cats (three of them: the mom, the older brother and the only girl - Nami) are already part of our family, I consider them my special siblings. I do my best to protect and feed them. Hearing them cry would bring me discomfort and worry; thus, it crushes my heart to see her struggle and die.

Yep, I saw how she died - she died in my hands as I tried my best to save her. But I guess I'm never enough to save her. Or maybe, it was also my fault that she didnt make it. Perhaps, I did the wrong first aid. So instead of saving her, I rushed her death. I dont know; I feel so helpless. I think it's better to blame myself. I was quite ignorant of what really needs to be done; and so I failed to save her. :(

They say dont dwell on things or failures which are actually beyond your control, including death. But I'm human; I tend to be sensitive or emotional, especially to my loved ones. I just cant accept the thought of a loved one passing away before my eyes. I cried and cried while trying to save my cat. Praying that I'll have the hands that can help her survive; but maybe I was really too late. It sucks not to be able to do anything at times like this.

I still dont know how to move on from this incident. Kind of traumatic and heart-breaking - I'd rather choose to deal with a love life issue than to bear with this kind of pain. :( The guilt is taking me over. The pain is unbearable. With all the memories, how can I free myself from this sadness and remorse? x_x

Nami, please forgive me if it was truly my fault. Please, rest in peace. :((

When I was a kid…

I had a lot of dreams. I aspired to be like this and/or that in the future. I wanted to achieve so many things. Impossible was not yet invented in my dictionary.  Felt I could conquer the world! Haha.

As a kid, my imagination was really wild, vivid and timeless. I cared for nothing but fun, adventure and the real excitement of life. I love to draw, write stories and play whatever games would come to my mind. I wonder where that kid is now…

I wanted to travel the entire world - explore, unearth and tell humanity how wonderful the universe is. I have always adored the creations of God. I love Nature, and even the innovations of man... Sadly though, the planet is no longer as beautiful as it was… 

When I was a kid… I wanted to become a…

Traveler/Archaeologist

What’s other better and pleasurable way to appreciate more the beauty of nature and the wonders of the entire universe than to travel, travel and travel? To travel the whole world is my very wish…when I was just a kid, and until now. 

I also want to unearth history, discover hidden facts and find relics. I was so inspired by a TV series way back in High School; if my memory serves me right, the show was “Relic Hunter.” I also love to watch Tomb Raider, The Mummy, National Treasure, Indiana Jones and other history-based or treasure hunting inspired movies. I loved history as long as I can remember and so I want to learn more.

I eventually wanted to become a teacher - for reality's sake. Haha. As for traveling, I think it’s wise to start a travel blog while I’m still looking for “that” opportunity.

Air Force/Navy/Marines

"To fly, fight and win ... in air, space and cyberspace." – Air Force

I’ve always wanted to explore the sky, and/or the ocean; thus the dreams. I even wanted to become an astronaut! I thought that I’ll always be free and alive whenever I can roam around the seas and the skies – reason why I love “One Piece.”

But of course, these are very risky jobs. As a kid, I was only looking at the positive and enjoyable aspects; I challenge intricacy and would always think that I shall win.

Now, as a Navy officer, you can also take part in aviation. I found out about Naval Aviators and blood surged through my veins. Isn’t that hitting two birds in one stone? Whew! :D

However, if it’s not in the US or other more technologically-advanced countries, I’d rather content myself with collecting miniature models of aircraft. Haha ;) :P

Ninja/Samurai

Aren’t they cool?!! Ninjas and Samurais never fail to amuse and amaze me. They’ll always be a part of my imagination and wishful thinking. Although becoming a ninja or a samurai these days seems easier said than done... if given the chance, why not? hahaha

Some people think that a ninja and/or samurai are nothing but blood-thirsty mercenaries or spies. But for me, they have an honourable reputation. Added with the effect of watching Samurai X – Rurouni Kenshin, Naruto and the like… ;)

But I guess, a police officer or a detective is more realistic and feasible. 

I also want to become an F1 pro-racer.. hahaha.. But I guess I should start learning how to drive well first.. and race with a go-kart before anything else. ;)

Although these aspirations may seem very difficult, I know they’re never impossible. I so envy those who are able to live up their dreams. Right now, I’m still having a hard time listening to my real calling. I know it’s not yet too late for me now... So, help me God. :D