The Bending Craze :D

The long wait is over. At last, our most-awaited movie, The Last Airbender, is now showing in the big screen. Finally! Whew! :D I am getting so excited to watch it with, uh, a lot of company. ;)

Although many bad reviews have made the movie look contemptible, I’d still want to give it a try. And try not to compare it with the original series. I know it’s not easy to squeeze a number of episodes into just one movie. So, I’m gonna go for it!

As a tribute to one of my fave anime/cartoon series, here are the characters of Avatar: The Last Airbernder that we came to love (in order of my preference LOL):

Toph

 Appa and Momo 

 Uncle Iro

 

Sokka

Zukko

Suki

Katara and Aang

 

Azula, Mei and Tai Li

The Link Between Us Is…

I just realized how care-less I am. How I don’t share my “real” feelings to real people, including my family, and how much I’ve been idling around like I am certain of the future. But the truth is that I’m scared – scared of what may never come and the regrets of not doing what I should’ve done. And yet, what the heck am I doing? Nothing; just the best way to cripple my existence. 

I feel helpless, directionless and wretched. I know it’s never a good idea to bring down one’s self. I am in charge of what to feel and how to seize each and every day. That I can never blame anyone on my own mistakes, even if it would help me feel better. But I guess I am too frail to say no this melancholic state. The only good thing is that I am surrounded by people who understand – people that I’m trying to loosen the bonds with.

And maybe, just maybe, this is the source of my dismay. I have mingled with various personalities that I came to forget my own. I have enjoyed the short-lived happiness, which I know isn’t wrong, but surely not good enough for me. It’s this state of change that’s drowning me. Yet I may need to. I really don’t know what to do. I don’t want to look needy, though. Ahh, pride, maybe, eh?!

At first, I thought this may disappoint people. So I realized, I no longer care what they say - just like what I used to believe; unless they slap me back to reality and convince me that I don’t belong to the gloomy wilderness that I’m heading to. I thought I should not force myself to please them. Although being with them brightens up my aura. It’s so perplexing, and painful. But it seems I have to go through this, once and for all.  

I now understand that I am truly miserable since I just can’t stop myself from writing even the most senseless of stuff. I write from the heart, though. No editing, no revising, no proofreading – all fresh from the mind to the keyboard and monitor. Maybe, I have always been like that. I admire great and aspiring writers; I feel jealous at times, but I don’t really care whenever I write. I don’t care how I sound, I just let go of the thoughts like it’s the best thing to do when venting out. 

I can’t even stop myself from sharing, and posting. I talk like crazy to my newfound shock-absorber or my human stress ball. Feels good to have someone listening to your angst and rants. But I feel scared from time to time, thinking I might get used to it. Oh, so I’ve spent long years getting close to people that I developed the fear of losing them. Reason why I’m trying to loosen the knots intensely tying me to them. I don’t want to get hurt. I don’t want to be alone, yet it feels I’m home. 

Honestly, I’m kind of torturing myself. I feel like I need to be punished. That I don’t deserve to be loved because I don’t know how to return the favour. How can I enjoy spending time with my friends when I can’t, or don’t, openly express my devotion to my family. It’s just so unfair to them (my family). I don’t know how to be caring to my siblings, and my parents; or that I’m not used to doing thoughtful things. Reason why I’m always scolded. They say I’m “walang pakialam” and that I’d rather live alone or choose “friends” instead.

If I get the opportunity to bond with my family, I see to it we all enjoy. But most of the time, we’d always be disrupted by something sensitive that’s enough to ruin the mood of the moment. It sucks and it’s traumatic. So I don’t really initiate much of our family get-together or even the simplest form of reunion. Besides, I don’t have that so-so kind of family or the one that we usually find appealing and a very good example. We all have our issues and circumstances. I say I have been through a lot; enough to make me bitter, more defensive and somehow, stronger yet unhappy. I looked for happiness in the simplest of things, yet I don’t feel worthy.   

*Sigh. ‘nuff said. Don’t know what can save me. But I’ll try to move on from this alone. Scribbling my thoughts, and part of my emotions, is more than enough to lessen my load. Perhaps, I really need detachment for now…

Almost...

I am a sucker for Art; and so I can’t help but share these almost-real pencil drawings or what is called as photorealistic pencil sketches:

Added with the original work of a talented friend:

Oh well, that's all for now.. ;)

At The Crossroads...

Yesterday, I thought of writing something about Paramore’s "The Only Exception” for today’s post. But a part of me held back; maybe because the song is kind of cheesy in some sense or that dwelling on it is not really a good idea. Last night, confusing and negative thoughts ruled my head. And so, I decided to do something that I should’ve done ages ago.

Feels like I’m facing the crossroads of destiny these days. I’m trying to figure out which type of personality suits me best; because, honestly, I’m not sticking to one. Thus, I no longer know which is comfortable or not. I could still remember that I’m not friendly before or not as friendly as I am now. I was a home-buddy who’s so moody and choosy. But I guess I can naturally attract people without even trying so hard to get close to.

The thing is, I didn’t know how to respond or cherish the way people, or the so-called friends, treat me. I have always thought that it’s not my responsibility to do anything, especially if I wasn’t the one who initiated the bond. I mingle; but I don’t really make it a big deal. That’s when fate got interested in me. I met friends who value companionship like it’s a part of their life force.

I didn’t know what to do at first. But I was sure I wanted to be like them for I enjoyed having faithful friends. And so I managed to change and become someone else – someone cheerful and friendly enough to make bonds with just anybody. Something I thought was incredible and long-lasting. But I was wrong.

I wasn’t inherently nice and sociable; I thought I can do anything without being touchy. I believed that bonds such as friendship and romantic relationships would only make you vulnerable and feeble. And as days go by, I’d find more and more reasons confirming such claims. This kind of person that’s only concerned of protecting one’s self is perhaps my inner and natural self - the old personality that’s trying so hard to resurface now. Of course, it’s almost successful.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t regret being the kind of person that most people think I am. It was fun and memorable. But I’m sure I never exposed the real me yet; not even to my very close friends. They have much to learn, that is. But I guess I no longer have the inclination to be loving, caring and friendly. I have gone beyond the limits. I forgot to deal with friendship in moderation. I got lost in the bliss and promises of such thing. And so I suffered much. I became prone to pain, jealousy and other pathetic stuff. I may be bitter, but I should’ve awakened myself earlier. 
 

A friend told me that I should not change myself, especially if I’m not really comfortable with the idea. I think he’s right and so I’m trying to lessen the bonds I have now; before I get consumed by nasty feelings. I still haven’t overcome that sickness and I thought being the opposite would help eliminate its existence. But no, it only made things worst. Hence, I’ll try to be my old self again. We’ll see if I can manage. Hope “they” understand. Test is inevitable, eh?! :D

Hey friend, you managed to “jinx” me a couple of times already. It did work. Remember when you said yesterday that “You’re in a good mood today, but yesterday was not. How about tomorrow?” Haha. I guess this is it.

Friends, if you think I'm being unreasonable or something, please feel free to pinch me back to reality. ;)

Claim It and It Shall Be Given To You

It's not always that we are given what we really want. Sometimes, we've got to be contented with what we have and no longer ask for what we cannot get. Even being a spoiled brat has its limits. However, if you truly deserve it, then it goes without saying. Ask for it, claim it, work for it, wait, and you shall reap favorable results. Oh my, I feel that I have so many things to be thankful for. 

"Good things always come to those who wait." That's the lesson I learned from the anime (Saiunkoku Monogatari) I watched yesterday. I didnt think that it would apply to me for today or that what I've been wishing for would eventually come true (I even forgot about it). Well, maybe that's why Patience is a virtue, eh?!

I'm not really a patient person. Despite being indecisive, I am also impulsive; which frequently leads me to many forms of trouble and regrets. I never thought that this moment would come. I've never felt this satisfied and blessed.. Well, when talking about work, that is. :D

I dont make sense, I know. But I cant help but write and post this rant. I'm just happy that I get to work with my friend now. Haha. Yeah, another shallow reason to rejoice. But even the simplest and smallest of things can make me happy. You dont have to look for bigger or extreme reasons to be happy, right? Or spend much just to enjoy yourself? I'm a practical person; but I'm also a splurge-spender. Haha

I'm just trying to remind myself that If I truly want something, then I should go for it. Claim it. If I dont, how could I attract success? But of course, I know this is not applicable to each and every situation. There will always be something, or someone, that I'd like to have but can never really own or get. Too bad but that's the way things are. Oh well, I'll just have to thank whatever comes my way.

Looking forward to working with you friend. I hope we'll be fine. :))

And thanks to the early morning "jinx" of another friend. I think that helped a lot. ;)

When Dreaming Of Adam...

Most of my friends would tell me that sometimes, or most of the time, it seems like "I'm one of the boys." Well, maybe because I grew up with the "guidance" of many Uncles, I enjoy playing with the boys... and for so many other reasons. But it doesnt mean that I'm a tomboy (just boyish? Whatever :P) or something. HAHA. And this post will prove my claim. :)

I have my own set of celebrity crushes. But I dont go for the really popular guys or those men most girls drool for like Robert P. - makes me wonder... tsktsktsk... I actually categorize them according to the following:

The Apple of my Eyes

- Josh Holloway, Wentworth Miller, Jensen Ackles and Channing Tatum

I'm a "Lost", "Prison Break" and "Supernaturals" fan; and the first three guys are my fave tv actors (or maybe its their roles that I really love? ahaha) Well, what's not to like about Channing? Not only that he's a good dancer (and really yummy?) but also a versatile actor.

My Alpha Male
- Gerard Butler, Jason Statham, Johnny Depp and Robert Downey Jr.

Need I say more about them? *sigh :D Uhm, can I add Ben Barnes? (perhaps the youngest in the group) ;) P.S I dont usually go for guys with big bodies or bulging muscles; but Statham is different. He's super duper cool. Woot-woot! :D

The Small but Terrible

- Jet Li, Ewan McGregor

I have always loved Jet Li (and of course, Jackie Chan - when it comes to martial arts/action movies). And fell in love with Ewan ever since Moulin Rouge. *giggles :))

The Musician
- Jason Mraz, Josh Groban

They can serenade me over and over again without me getting bored. ;)

The Father Figure

- Liam Neeson, Al Pacino, Alan Rickman, Sean Connery

Yeah, I want them to be my dads.. They play great (father) roles, right? From a Jedi to a Mafia Boss, and James Bond; yep, including "Snape". ;)

And many to mention. I'm a sucker for movies and even tv series, you know. When I created this post, I thought of including local artists/actors in my list; but I ended up not doing anyway. :)) Maybe because I wasn't really fond of them or that I have a few choices? *peace :D Some other time, okay? ;)

If I Were To Time Travel...

Do you ever wonder - “What if I could turn back time?” or “What if I could go back to the past?” What would you do? Where shall you go or on what particular time/event of the past? Would you want to change something? Are you even interested in witnessing the events of the past? Me? Of course! As long as I “can’t” distort history, I’d really want to witness many historical incidents. I will no longer wish to go back in time so I can undo this or that. I know it’s just not fair or something – what’s there to learn if people don’t make mistakes?

All I want to do, if I were given the chance to time travel, is to observe firsthand the occurrences of the past which I’ve never been a part of…

This post is actually a continuation of (or in connection to) my previous post – Into the Time Stream.

So where do I want to go if blasted to the past?

As much as possible, I’d really want to go back to the time when…

·         The World is about to be Created
·         Moses Divided The Red Sea
·         The Ten Commandments Were Made and Presented
·         The Birth/Death of Christ
·         Dinosaurs, and Dragons are still around
·         Nature is at its best
·         Great Pyramids and the Great Wall of China are being Built
·         Troy Fell
·         Greek Mythology is quite… real
·         Cleopatra is still alive... and pretty? Hmmm
·         There’s a big fight/duel in the The Colosseum or Roman Coliseum
·         Construction of Stonehenge in Britain begins
·         The Greeks and Persians are at War
·         Japan/America Colonized Philippines

And so many more... Yep, some events may seem a tragedy or traumatic enough for those who have witnessed it... But because I wasn’t able to experience it myself, I want to find out what it feels like… I am prepared... as long as I’m an invisible spectator... ahahaha :D